Laziness

This is a few weeks old, but Clay went on the roof for this shot. Since then, many things are considerably bigger. Tomatoes are huge, cucumbers spilling over the trellis, winter squash is vigorously spreading out and filling every available space. As are sweet potatoes, as are.... weeds. Weeds weeds and more weeds....

A garden is a wonderful thing. It's taught me SO much this year. So many lessons learned in a garden. Some good, some bad. Of late it's taught me that I am a lazy person. Oh yes, the era of not just blogging happy go lucky stuff for the fam has begun.

I'm not being hard on myself, I'm not. Gardens that go untended, lack of clean laundry, no plan for dinner, worse yet, Bible not read, yet all message boards checked and scrapbook pages made. Honestly I feel that the list of things going undone applies to every area of my life right now. Oh how many women get to this point where they feel overwhelmed by everything, where everything feels and IS out of control. But the Lord doesn't want this for my life, for anyone's life really. He doesn't want us to drown under being a mom, a homemaker, teacher, and wife. He wants us to thrive for HIS glory. And hey, it's not what I want for myself, my husband, not what I want to model to my children, not a good witness of the Lord's power and strength, and just drains me. Oh how I cry out to the Lord this verse today!

-For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
-If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
-Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
-For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
-For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.Now if -I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
-I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
-But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
-O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
-I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.
Romans 7:15-25

Now my nature is to now come up with a huge list of schedules and whatnot and try and get crackin. But that hasn't worked in the past and won't work now. I need to start where I should have always started. With the Lord. Period. What that means, I'm searching out. Sure there's all the "DO" things that I want to assign myself.... read the Bible X amount, start reading the Bible from the beginning, setting up devotional time, doing memory verses, listening to sermons, turning off the tv, etc. etc. All those godly things that surely will fix me right up. Right up. Before you know it, I'll be the perfect godly wife.......

Stop Kim, stop. There's nothing wrong with those things. I'm sure they will find their place as thing change here. But there is one thing to do. Fall on my face and pray. Pray for wisdom, guidance, for strength. Tell the Lord my troubles. Go the HIM in all this. Because "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".

Work Is Like Breathing

It's amazing to me how the Lord can put something on your heart and then have it confirmed everywhere you look. And so it began that way within the last few weeks.

Work. A few weeks ago it was my turn in our raw milk co-op to go to the Amish. I always leave there inspired and this didn't disappoint. Now there was my new found desire to grow or at least get some birdhouse gourds this year and run a long string of them for Martins. Or my reassurance that a woodstove outside in a screened porch to not heat the house is totally doable for cooking in the Summer. There are always loads of those things. But this time was different. I was left feeling a desire to work.

It was 7 in the morning and everyone, including kids were outside planting gardens. One farm had kids the age of my oldest son outside by themselves with no adults pounding in tomato stakes in a huge garden. 3 yos carrying buckets of milk to the house. WORK. Done by everyone. Not a frown in sight. No one was spared. And then we came to the farm where in the midst of work there was smiles. Children laughing with each other. THAT was play. That was time to be together.

Work there was like breathing. Everyone does it not because they "have to" but because that's what you do. SO much gets done. More than I can possibly imagine.

I prayed about it. The Lord brought me to verses in the Bible, then days later Clay read the same passages during family devotions. And when I was on the brink, Katie posted this post. It was everything the Lord had been working in me. Everywhere I turned there it was.... idleness. The Lord convicted me wherever he could.

So tomorrow it begins. I'm finishing off the week as a no internet week. It should have started today. But uh... my flesh got in the way. But like Katie, I'll post the difference it makes in this week. And uh... no tv for me either. I wish I could say it's never a problem for me, and it usually isn't but the need to commit to it is there. But it goes beyond internet and tv. It's about idleness.

Proverbs 31:27
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

My goal is to abolish idleness. Now that doesn't mean no rest. I'm going to attempt to quelch the idleness that takes over my days. How easy it is to be read verses in the Bible and then push them to the side. That Proverbs 31 verse has been read by me 1,000 times and I've felt the sting of that word idleness 1,000 times. But little to no change. So here it is.

I'll be posting this week even if it's just a little note. Well maybe it may be too tempting but we'll see. Hehe. I may know myself too well.